And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
mondays should just be called national damage control day
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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