so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
