she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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