I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
