I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
