Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
