I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Randomize
