can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
