Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
