He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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