You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
