I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Enjoy the penises
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
