Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
