Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize