Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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