i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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