it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
