It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
