I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
