im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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