You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize