Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
