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There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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