My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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