You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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