the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
