They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
