Little spoons don't ask big questions
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
40s are totally the cure
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
