I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
