What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
