i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize