I can text with my tongue
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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