Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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