once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
The power of my boobs compel you
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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