Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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