talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
