Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
You dont lie about slip and slides
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
