So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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