i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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