I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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