They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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