Whod you bang
She is in my trunk
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
