dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
