Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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