Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
where are my eyebrows?
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