just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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