Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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