I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
