So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
