i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
