Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
