Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
sex in a hospital.. check
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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