Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
