Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
