with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
