D3 body, D1 cock
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
