I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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