it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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