you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
