Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
