he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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