Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
