I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
if only i could text you this smell
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
PANTIES FOUND
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
