Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Its about making memories worth repressing
it was like his penis was on wheels.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
