I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Randomize
