i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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